Motherhood is all about getting things done. But what happens when you don’t get everything done? And let’s face it—few of us do accomplish all we ask of ourselves in a day. Caitlin Murray Giles took on this very question for us. She lives in her unorganized (but happy) house in Chicago with her husband and their three children. You can read more about their adventures at A Hen and Two (now Three) Chicks.
As the mama of a just-turned-six year-old, a nearly four year-old and an extremely busy sixteen month-old, I am living a very full life. From the time I get up in the morning until the time I collapse into bed at night, I am working hard to tend to all of my mommy responsibilities.
I have boo-boos to kiss and sand castles to build. There are tummies to tickle and tresses to tame. We’ve got walks to take, books to read, and games to play. These are the very best parts of my very full life.
But then there are the more routine aspects of motherhood -- the grocery shopping, the mountains of laundry, the meals, the dishes, the vacuuming, the constant management of lunch bags, gym shoes, and school schedules. Every day is a blur of rushed pick-ups and drop-offs, chaotic packing and unpacking, messes and clean ups.
On top of all of this, I try to find time to spend with my equally busy husband and squeeze in an hour or two of my freelance writing when I can. Not to mention all of the other stuff on my “to do” list – like going to yoga class or sleeping for more than four hours at a time.
In my more overwhelmed moments, I sometimes think, “I DON’T KNOW HOW I AM POSSIBLY GOING TO GET EVERYTHING DONE!”
The truth is that I can’t get it all done. Despite the fact that I am working hard all day every day, there is always going to be more to do – it is simply a reality of life with little ones.
My diaper bag isn’t perfectly organized. The kids’ clothes aren’t always neatly folded and put away in their drawers. Sometimes we eat take-out for dinner because I didn’t get to the grocery store. I stash things into cluttered closets when guests come over. My car is constantly full of crushed goldfish crackers because I never seem to make it to the carwash.
So. Much. To. Do.
Whenever I am lamenting all of the things that I didn’t accomplish, I try to focus on what I did do that day – things that usually aren’t on any official “to do” list.
For example, today I cheered for my son when he hit his first homerun. I watched my baby squeal and giggle as I pushed him back-and-forth on a swing at the park. After dinner, we decided to go for an impromptu bike ride to take advantage of the warm spring weather.
When I look at what I did get done in a day, I always feel proud. My kids are happy and healthy. Every day is a fun day. So if staying at the park for another hour means that the floor doesn’t get mopped and the trip to the hardware store doesn’t happen – so be it. The important stuff is getting done and that’s what matters.
Maybe Caitlin is on to something—the answer to stressing less about our “To Do” lists is to add more to it. Play with the kids. Check. Feed the kids. Check. Love the kids. Check. There are three things I do every day that I don’t give myself credit for. And it feels so satisfying to have three things crossed off. Do you think we moms are putting enough value on the things we do every day or thinking too much about the things we don’t get done?